The Lady with the Paper
Hey y’all! So yeah. I’m basically posting this because I am one of those people that do commute and don’t have the resources to buy a car. I experience the everyday travel from home, to school to somewhere else in the city either by subway, by bus or by street car. There have been moments where I met some people that I think are worthy of being mentioned mainly because of the things that they do and I guarantee that some of you might have even encountered some of these people. So here they are:
1. The Pushers
We’ve all met these people I am pretty sure. These are the people with the most powerful arms or the biggest backpacks that they can separate a sea of people so they can just get that one last seat. These people are certified assholes for me at least. Didn’t you see the damn signs at the door? Backpacks off? No pushing? But these people don’t care. These motherf*ckers would squeeze the life out of you or push you even to the edge just to get through and wouldn’t even say sorry. Haven’t met these people yet? You might wanna try getting into the train at Bloor and Yonge at 8-9 AM. Pretty sure you’ll get acquainted
2. The Blaster
Yeah I get it. You like Lil Wayne, Whiz Khalifa and all those big-ass rappers. I really get it. How would I not get it with you blasting your music that I can even hear it even from the other side of the car or at the other end of the bus? This dude doesn’t care if he’s blasting his shitty music cause it gives him gratification. But please please please! We all have different tastes. Kill yourself. Die. Today. Death to you bitch! There is absolutely no freaking reason that I have to listen to non-stop repetitions of “big banging booty” or “grindin’ rich ass homie” shits in my entire subway ride.
3. The Walking Dead
When I say The Walking Dead, he or she literally goes into the train or bus with a smell that will take the living daylights out of your nostrils. Faded sweatshirt or jacket, baggy jeans, with an occasional hand-me-down beanie and an unbelievingly amazing windswept hairdo, this person has just that look that reminds you of that big green monster in Ghostbusters. I can understand that sometimes it gets too cold that people would be so hesitant to shower but at least, try to hide it with some cologne.
4. The Random Talkers
I myself have encountered these people a lot. They are the ones who will suddenly talk to you just because of your sweater (more so if that’s a Harry Potter sweater, trust me I know) or if you are reading something like a sports magazine or the newspaper. These people will talk to you almost about everything from their own kids to their failed relationships back in middle school and they never realize how embarrassed you are with all their loud talking towards you because they just like sharing. But these people can also be helpful sometimes giving you tips in life and relationships. You might never meet these people again so take the opportunity to talk.
5. The Treats despite the TTC Tricks.
I always wonder how many delays the TTC has everyday but I come to think of it, I’m actually thankful for these delays because of The Treats. When I mean treats, they are the ones to feast your eyes upon. The ones that get off in Dupont, College, Dundas, and Museum Stations in the morning and Union, Bloor & Yonge and St. Clair in the afternoon. The cute chicks with their fancy coats, cute dresses, and gorgeous make-up.
“But don’t these girls usually take cabs or have drivers and shit?”
“I wanna tap that. Damn girl.”
Yep pretty much the thought process of most guys when they see this natural phenomenon. Pretty sure girls that see bearded guys with man buns and plaid coats have almost the same thought process but I might be wrong. 🙂
6. The Girl with the Not-So-Tasty Hair
The way to Dundas West Station can be very crowded, that I pretty much guarantee especially during the 8-9 AM. But nothing pisses me off than hair spreading all over my face and in some occasions, getting some in my nose. Especially when she’s muck. If you are able to be in that situation where you are behind a hot chick, you’re probably gonna enjoy the nicest smelling hair ever but that’s not always the case.
7. The Headbanger
There is nothing more fun watching a sleeping person may it be on the bus or on the subway and these people are the best in terms of this kind of entertainment. I might sound like an ass but I’m including this because I am one of them. You watch their heads sway from side to side, pray so hard that they miss their stop and watch them freak the hell out of their minds when they see how far they are now from their intended stop.
8. The High school Kids
I remembered when I was in high school and I swear I am nothing close to the high school kids right now. It might just be me but I think high school is getting crazier and crazier. They usually have this group mentality and they are ten times more ratchet than ever. Very unpredictable and they just go around and around the train car or in the bus, pushing around and talking about the dumbest shit that you’re ever gonna hear. I still remembered when high school used to be good.
9. The Craving Couples
Ah love. That happy sensation being with your significant other, getting all those butterflies in your stomach and everything. But sometimes couples just go overboard to the point that it looks like they’re making a porn movie just by making out. Like come on. Seriously, couldn’t these guys afford a room or something? This isn’t some Nicholas Sparks movie so take it off the train. And what’s worst is that when you get that moment where you’re sitting beside two of these pairs making out simultaneously and you’re fucking single? I just cannot comprehend.
10. The Preachers
I so happened to come across these people on my way home from placement. These people pretty much know the Bible or other religious books from front to back, even probably the table of contents. The constant repetitions of the words “Repent”, “Believe”, “Have Faith”, & “The End of the World” makes you think of Yonge and Dundas Square all over again. Shout out to the guy who likes to shout “Believe” to scare the shit out of passing girls. But yeah. I was very unfortunate to be made an example for all the bus passengers to see.
So there you have it. The ten people that you will meet as a commuter in Toronto. There might be more people that I haven’t met yet but these are the ones that probably dominate my commuter experience. So if you happen to come across any one of them, I don’t know if I should be sorry for you or be happy for you but I guess it can be both.
Shots and Sentiments 